With only a small amount of students of color here at Wheaton the dating scene is very limited for Black, Latino, or Asian students who choose to date only within their race. Interracial dating does take place here at Wheaton and there are a few couples who are committed to one another and open about their relationship, but there are some people who “hook-up” or have sex with someone of another race because they want to “try something new”. When you choose to become involved with someone, whether exclusively or casually, there is most often a physical attraction to that person. The next factor is getting to know their personality and the enjoyment of spending time with them. Unfortunately, here at Wheaton this is not always the case. I interviewed my friend Jen who is a senior here at Wheaton and this is what she had to say said about interracial dating here at Wheaton,
“In terms of interracial dating and oftentimes at Wheaton I find myself questioning the authenticity of some of these relationships… The idea of interracial dating may also be eroticized by some for who it may not be a possibility-and this is where issues may arise. It is in this eroticized fantasy where the validity of interracial relationships is questioned and often time people may disagree with these relationships.”
Jen indentifies as Costa Rican and has been involved in interracial relationships both exclusively and casually at Wheaton and in her hometown of Brooklyn, New York. She is an advocate for interracial dating. Her only issue with interracial dating here at Wheaton involves the dating of White females and Black males. She believes that some of the White girls who become involved with Black males and vice versa do so not because of attraction to the other’s personality, but because they want to know what it is like to date someone of that race or just be able to say that they did.
My conversation with Jen made me aware of other reasons people disagree with interracial dating, specifically interracial dating here at Wheaton. Is this opinion shared only with students of color? Or do white students also agree with Jen’s notion of authenticity? I am not sure but I will find out how other members of the Wheaton community feel about interracial dating.
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I think the issue of authenticity is an extremely provocative one. However, I'm not sure if one can successfully declare something "authentic" or not without opinion, judgment, bias, etc. driving such a declaration.
ReplyDeleteIn the case of a white female dating a black male, how are we to know if she is only dating him in order to gain exposure to interracial dating or if she actually does love him? I think in this case, the only person who can answer that question truthfully is the white female.
Also, I think it's incredibly important to note that while someone may be labeled as a "white" female, she may not identify in that way. For example, I am dating a black male on campus and am labeled as a "white" female. However, my mother is Filipina, and as such, I come from a household that is grounded in an interracial relationship. Still, no one would know this just from looking at me.
Therefore, the issue of authenticity seems to be a relative one. Is a relationship only "authentic" if race isn't taken into consideration and chemistry is the only thing driving the relationship? Is a person automatically an "authentic" white person if he or she appears that way on the surface? For both cases, I think that the answers to such questions are dependent upon people's opinions and experiences, and furthermore, I believe that most of the time, this idea of being able to declare something "authentic" or "real" is nearly impossible as perceptions of what is "authentic" or "real" will vary from person to person, opinion to opinion.
The Wheaton bubble allows for students to date outside of their race without fear of disapproval from their peers. However, whether or not these relationships are "authentic" can only be determined by those within the relationship. I cannot go as far as to claim that someone else's relationship is purely experimental or there are true feelings involved. Whichever the case may be, I think it is important to look beyond the surface and commend these relationships. Regardless of whether or not they are "real," the ability of each individual to date outside their race is a huge step in bridging the racial divide that exists in relationships.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest I do not see a problem dating someone to try something new. Many people have not have the access to other culture/ backgrounds so why is it a problem to try something completely different. I also doubt that the people in these type of relationships to try something new are only there for the "taste", a relationship causes people to connect and emotionally, mentally, and etc. I think that a big problem in this college is the fact that when people see you dating outside your race they believe you are trading to race (not true). I think that Wheaton college is fine with people hooking up with people of different race, but once you start having a real relationship with them then there is an issue. I think the more people are open with stating that they are interested in different race, is when this campus will start being open with dating people of different backgrounds. I think that many people not all people have a problem with the idea of interracial dating. Hopefully this will start changing.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Calou Beckford and I am a soon to be sophomore here at Wheaton college and before I address the interracial dating scene here at my own campus and Frank’s ability to complete the requirements of the blog I would like to express my views on interracial dating as a whole. Personally, I have no issue with interracial dating. I believe dating between different ethnic backgrounds will diversify our community. It will ultimately give our people more insight into the many different cultures that exist in our world. It will draw us closer to my idea of universal culture. As people develop more relationships with different people of the earth we can come closer to ending the idea of racial superiority ending ignorant forms of hate. “Separate but equal” will be an idea of the past and people can become more focused on the content of someone’s character rather than the surface of a person’s skin.
ReplyDeleteI myself have been in multiple interracial relationships. While I will admit that the experiences I have had with these girls have been different from dating girls whose culture is similar to mines those differences aren’t necessarily bad. By dating girls outside my race I have learned things about what myself and ways to be considerate of people who are different from me and the people I was raised around. I also discovered different types of foods that I would have never been exposed to if it wasn’t for my relationship with a girlfriend from another race. I have had the opportunity to meet relatives of my girlfriends that have very different world views from my own that I have learned from or have learned to appreciate.
Ok now onto the topic at hand, when commenting on Frank’s blog directly few things come to mind. Being at Wheaton I have felt the urge to “try something new”. I never had the experience of dating a Caucasian girl and my curiosity does intrigue me, but with that being said it is more than just a physical attraction. While I do possess that longing to know what it will be like that would mean entering a relationship for the wrong reason and that would eventually lead to people being hurt. So I agree with Jen in the sense that interracial dating shouldn’t occur just out of the need to try something new.
I believe Frank fulfilled the requirements for our blogs and provide the audience with and interesting topic to discuss. Incorporating an interview was a nice touch that allowed me to relate to one of my fellow classmates.
Frank -
ReplyDeleteI thought your blog was particularly interesting because it was something I (very briefly) looked at in my own blog on Rastafarian ideology. I watched a documentary called Rent A Rasta which was about sex tourism in Jamaica. The film talked about how nearly 80,000 women (the large majority being white) from western and developed nations flock to Jamaica every year to have sex with the indigenous black men. I thought this documentary connected well with issues brought upon in your blog - why in our Western cultures is interracial relationship seen as taboo? The many women that travel to Jamaica each year to indulge in these purely sexual and brief relations are obviously attracted to black men. They fly to Jamaica, sometimes annually, to engage in social interactions that would be seen as unacceptable in their own cultures. Therefore, by leaving their homelands they are able to engage in aspects of sexuality against social norms in the Western world.
On the Wheaton campus interracial relationships take on a different appearance because social and economic hierarchies are not a substantial difference. After talking to some other individuals on the subject, we came to the conclusion that we generally believed that the individuals on the Wheaton campus who choose to date interracially generally do so because they are attracted to the internal characteristics of the individual - not externalities like race. All people are products of their cultures, and our race does culturally define who we are. Therefore, by dating interracially the two involved individuals will experience "something new," which I don't think is a bad thing at all. Individuals who have grown up in different cultures have unique values and ideals which we may find attractive and admirable.
A close friend of mine, who is a minority, thinks that it is common for interracial couples to be "looked at" or "talked about" due to the fact that there is indeed not a ton of minorities here at Wheaton. Therefore, when a minority man is take, other minority women may feel as if something is being taken from them. I'm not sure if this is true? But, it certainly is an idea.
Overall I thought this was a interesting blog which did a good job tackling a controversial issue that is rarely spoken about. Frank, you did a good job giving your own insights and explaining how engaging with others in the Wheaton community helped transform your cultural engagement.