“My parents would never accept me bringing someone of another race home… I’m just not attracted to girls/guys outside of my race… I don’t date outside of my race because I’m sure we won’t have anything in common since we come from different cultures… I am afraid people will stare at me if I was on a date with someone of another race… My children can have friends of another race, but I would prefer if they dated within our race or ethnic background”…These are just some of the reasons that people I have met choose not to date outside of their race. All of these reasons are valid in their own right, but the three issues I have with these responses to interracial dating are the discrimination against dating someone who looks physically different then you, allowing those who disapprove of interracial dating to sway your choice to date outside your race, and denying your attraction for someone because they come from a different culture.
Is it limited or no exposure to interracial dating that causes people to be in opposition to interracial dating? Or is it fear of ones relationship not being accepted by family and friends that ultimately affects the choice to not date outside of ones own race? I believe that majority of people who have had little to no exposure to interracial dating live in suburban areas, where everyone in that community is of the same race and social class. Although there are communities in urban areas that are divided by race, religion, and social class, it is nearly impossible to avoid the mixing of races in schools, work environments, and public places in general. Since there is more interaction with people of other races, if interracial dating occurs I believe there is a greater chance of acceptance from peers and family.
What do you think?
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These are all very difficult questions to answer, but I think they all bring up very important issues. In regards to acceptance, I think that unfortunately, for a lot of people, familial opinion plays a huge role. I am lucky enough to have parents who support me and respect my decisions, but there are members of my family who do scrutinize me for my decision to be in an interracial relationship. I have heard, "Well, if you marry him and have children, you know that your children will have hard lives." My sister, unfortunately, has heard the same things from such family members. However, these family members are usually of an older generation, which then adds yet another issue to the mix--the issue of racial perception across generations.
ReplyDeleteStill, such opinions have clearly not prevented me from making my own decisions, but they do say something about the society in which we live. I think we can even draw a comparison between racial perception and perceptions on sexuality. For example, I know someone who once said that she does not want her children to be gay because then her children will have to deal with societal opinions/actions that come with it. Sadly, it therefore seems that the prevailing image of a perfect person who will have the easiest life of all is a person who is of one race, more specifically white, and is heterosexual. Of course, just because this is what society attempts to dictate, it doesn't make it right.
And I think, Frank, that your assumption that interracial dating in cities is much more accepted than in the suburbs is an accurate one. While I grew up in a large city that boasted great cultural and racial diversity, I now live in a much smaller city that is predominantly white. Here, interracial relationships are much more sparse, and although I'm not entirely sure why that is, societal pressure may very well be the culprit.
As an Asian male who spent his preteen adolescent years in America, I can only provide a limited view on interracial dating, but here goes.
ReplyDeleteWhere I’m from – the Bay Area aka the Silicon Valley – ethnic diversity is not as much of an issue as I find it is here at Wheaton, where I find many fellow students have met maybe two, three Asian peers in their lifetime. Although Asians aren’t exactly a ‘majority’ in the Bay Area, they are definitely ubiquitous enough that most non-Asians aren’t unfamiliar with the overarching ‘Asian American’ culture – much of which is blatantly stereotyped into tasteless jokes by movies and TV shows like Mad TV.
Coming from such a ethnically diverse background, I found one overarching similarity in interracial dating for Asians: white males found Asian females desirable, while white females, for the most part, found Asian males to be undesirable – at least, in a romantic sense. I believe this can be attributed to the pop culture in America. Trashy TV shows – such as MTV’s “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” and – and the American pornography industry hypersexualize Asian women, turning them into objects of desire. Meanwhile, Asian males, if even portrayed in shows or movies, are portrayed as asexual beings. Although this may seem like nothing, it does have a significant cultural impact: it degrades Asian women as objects of sex and desire, while Asian men are left appearing asexual and undesirable.
As for other races, such as Latinos/as and blacks Americans, the popular culture also places some sort of sexual significance on them through actors and performers (Will.I.Am., Rhianna, Antonio Banderas, and Jennifer Lopez, just to name a few that come to my mind right away). And since most of the stuff that the media is marketing is intended for the white-majority audience that pervades America, it is no surprise that many white Americans who have had little to no intercultural contact with these ethnic minorities can only base their relations with these ethnic minorities on what the media sells them.
Although this may attribute to the interest/disinterest in the varying minority groups in America by the white majority, it does not explain the taboo placed on interracial dating. Although where I’m from, interracial couples are not such a big deal, I can only speculate that in white-majority areas throughout America, the taboo placed on interracial dating would mostly stem from ignorance – not because the people choose to be ignorant of the cultures of the minority groups, but because they have had little to no chance of being exposed to the minority cultures. Therefore, the human instinct of fearing the unknown would probably kick in, and coupled with all the negative portrayals of ethnic minorities in the news, people of older generations, and even some from our generation, probably misunderstand the ethnic minorities, and therefore stigmatize having romantic relations with those different from them.
As for myself, I personally have nothing against dating girls outside of my ethnicity. Truth be told, I consider anybody not Korean to be ethnically different than myself – so for me, it’s not even an issue of Asians dating Asians. However, like I said, I don’t really care much for the ethnicity of the girl as long as we share similar interests and – as corny as this may sound – her personality is compatible with mine; being of the same ethnicity as me is only an added bonus, not a requirement.